If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
These tits shall not be calmed
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
