Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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