No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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