I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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