you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
