i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
How naked do you want me to be?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
