He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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