I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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