Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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