So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
