so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
