if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
