i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Walk of Shame today included voting.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
