i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
