I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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