What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I am available for nakedness
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
