how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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