I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
