if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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