where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've blown a few things in my day
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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