New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
