I want to make a zoo with you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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