Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So vagazzling was a success
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
