just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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