so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
