i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
