Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
