He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
