only if we run a train.
done.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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