I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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