butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I got inside last night via doggy door
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
