his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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