I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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