You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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