I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
