OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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