god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
