You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
