I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
