Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
