Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
