I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
