He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
