I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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