I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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