i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i out mim tonsoeep
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
