I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
