I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
