You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
