i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
